Thursday, May 24, 2012

Daddy's a Sloth, Too

I wrote earlier about how my 3-year-old is a sloth. I have recently realized that she comes about her slothfulness honestly: her daddy is a sloth, too. Now to be honest, our slothiness shows itself in different ways. The girl's sloth is manifested in the fact that she doesn't do anything quickly. She'll take forever to get dressed; she'll stop doing what she's been told to do (e.g. pick up the toys that she has strewn about the house) and go do something else (e.g. anything else she can think of); and the rest of us could scarf down enough food to feed an army of starving Cossacks in the time it takes her to eat a single cup of yogurt. She just does things at her own speed, which she usually turns down several notches when we are really in a hurry to get out the door. I would say that it's just part of her charm. But I would be lying. It's totally aggravating.

I, on the other hand, don't usually do things slowly. I just don't do them at all. During the winter my main source of exercise comes in the form of typing on my computer. I do play a little softball during our short Minnesota summers, but if I am lucky enough to make it to first base, I need to have a 5 minute oxygen break before the next pitch is thrown. Somehow, despite my almost total lack of exercise, I have still remained at least somewhat thin. By that I mean that I hover between 7 and 10 pounds more than what I would call my "goal weight". I struggled for months trying to figure out just how I manage to accomplish this. Do I have the world's greatest metabolism? Is it because I tend to graze on small amounts of food all day instead of eating three huge meals every day? Is it just because I tend to raise my "goal weight" whenever I pack on more "actual" pounds? Perhaps. But I think I have finally figured out the real reason. I don't do any actual "exercise", per se, but there is one activity that I do a lot, and I think it's keeping me in the mediocre shape that I am in.

You see, every time we go somewhere, whether it be to church, or to grandma & grandpa's house, or to our local Target store, or anywhere else, I make approximately 12 trips to the car to load up all our "stuff". We've got diaper bags, and more diaper bags, and overnight bags, and bags full of toys for the girl, and bags full of toys for the boy, and mommy's got her bag, and daddy's got his briefcase, and don't forget the laptop, and the girl wants to bring her water bottle, and the boy wants to bring his milk cup, and on and on and on. Oh, and then hopefully we remember to bring the baby, who is gaining weight at the speed of light, and whose car seat weighs about 40 pounds. I figure every time we go anywhere I end up carrying about 700 pounds of "stuff" out to the car. No wonder I'm in such mediocre shape! I can't believe I'm not even more ripped than I already am.


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