Friday, July 13, 2012

How to Hurt Daddy- by The Boy

The Boy is growing up too fast. It seems like just yesterday he was a little peanut crawling around on all fours, and now he's a two-year-old speedster who runs around the house like a crazy person, with no regard for human life. His own, nor anyone else's. And, he continues to grow taller, which I guess is normal for kids. I didn't really gain any height until my sophomore year in high school, so this is all new to me.

And, he's exuberant. He always has a devious little smile on his face, like he's up to something. He also is very affectionate, giving hugs to his mom and dad, and even his big sister, the Girl, whenever the mood hits, which is often.

All of these things - growing up to be a big boy, running around like a crazy person, having a devious side, and being affectionate - add up to mean one thing: Daddy is not safe in his own house. I am beginning to think that I need to start wearing a, well you know, one of those hard plastic protective things that, you know, men have to wear some times when they're out playing sports and such. OK, I'll just say it. I need to wear my cup! The kid comes flying around corners at just the wrong height, and he loves seeing daddy, so, if anything, he speeds up when he sees me. I don't have a chance. He got me at least three times tonight after supper, and that was even though play time was shortened by an hour-long bath. If he keeps it up, he will be the reason why he will never have a little brother to play with and pick on. Not that the Wife and I have been thinking of that scenario...

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