Tuesday, July 3, 2012

I'll Have a Bowl of Macalonely, Please

My two oldest kids are going on another road trip, only this time they're taking the Baby and the Wife with them! I am going to be all alone in my house for the next six days, with nothing but a five-page-long honey-do list to keep me company. Oh yeah, and the two dogs, too. I don't want to give the dogs too much attention, though, since they will go right back to getting none once the kids come back home. Going back to the way it usually is might break their hearts, so I'll just treat them the same as I always do by maybe remembering to feed them. If they're lucky.

Speaking about feeding things, I'm sure I will revert to my bachelor days while everyone is gone, eating strange things that no married person in their right mind would ever eat. One of my mainstays will be the healthy combination of processed cheese slices and a bag of pepperoni. In my bachelor days I was able to eat a half a bag of pepperoni and a big old stack of cheese slices in one sitting, but now I'm sure it will take me several days to finish them off. I just can't pack away the bad food like I used to.

Knowing that I would be eating alone for the next several days, I made sure to get a ten pack of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, another of my staples from yesteryear. While eating macaroni alone in my lonely bachelor pad back in the day, I gave it the moniker of macalonely, to more accurately reflect the mood in the room while I ate it, usually directly from the pot it had been cooked in. I ate plain macalonely for many years before I decided it needed a little something to spice it up and make it a more well-rounded meal. I had seen hot dogs being added to macaroni before, but I didn't have any on hand, so I scoured the cupboards in my apartment for anything that seemed even remotely appropriate. My eyes landed on a can of tuna, which I love, so I decided to give it a go. It quickly became a prominent part of my bachelor food line-up. Over the years, when I have told my friends about my concoction, I have been met with blind stares from a few, and violent gagging by most, but I think it's a wonderful medley of tastes and smells, and I am looking forward to having some tuna-infused macalonely several times during the next week. After the week is over, though,  I'm sure I will not be looking forward to it for a long, long time.

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