Saturday, August 25, 2012

A Different Side Of Me

A different side of people sometimes comes out in the bedroom. A strange side. A weird side. A side that you may never have thought existed. For me, that is my right side.

Every night I start the night laying on my right side. I do that because I sleep on the left side of the bed, and I like to fall asleep while facing my beautiful bride. Some times I even put my arm around her before drifting off to sleep. I have to remember to do that quickly, because the drifting usually starts approximately 5 seconds after my head hits the pillow. It's an idyllic setting - perfect for falling asleep quickly.

What happens next is not so idyllic. For some reason, sleeping on my right side invokes strange bodily reactions out of me. About half of the time, I am soon awakened by said beautiful bride, poking me in my shoulder because my snoring has gotten loud enough to ripple the drapes in the room. The other half of the time, I awaken myself, because within, oh, 5 minutes of falling asleep or so, I find myself in a puddle of drool that has turned my pillowcase into a swamp. Gross, huh? I think it's gross, and I'm the one drooling!

What happens next completely rectifies the situation, and it's so simple even someone like me can figure it out. Here's what happens: I turn over and lay on my left side. Easy peezy. I almost never snore when I'm on my left side, and I for sure don't drool. I don't know why, but for some reason God made all my quirkiness manifest itself only from my right side. OK, not all of my quirkiness, but the quirkiness related to sleepy-time things. I suppose I could just start out each night by sleeping on my left side, but that would make nighttime at our house too boring. And who wants that side of their life to be boring?

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