Friday, October 26, 2012

The Baby is a Lunker

Parents (or at least the Wife and I) treat their babies like they would a largemouth bass. The bigger the baby, the prouder the parent is, just like in bass fishing. When parents take their baby in to the pediatrician's office, it's more fun to hear that their baby is in the "98th percentile" in whatever they happen to be measuring at the time (weight, height, length, coolness, etc.), instead of hearing, "Uh, you have been remembering to feed your baby, right?" A chunky baby is a healthy baby, just like in bass fishing.

Along that same line of thinking, I am proud to announce that we switched the Baby, who is now a little over 7 months old, into her clothes that are labeled as "12 Months". She was still fitting into some of her 6-9 month clothes, but some of them were so tight that we were afraid she would have trouble breathing. So, last night, I brought up the boxes of hand-me-down 12 month clothes that were packed away in the basement, and the Wife went through them all. The Baby looks cute in her new clothes, and she seems to be breathing very easily.

This bass is in the 95th percentile in everything. Its parents must be very proud!
Having clothes that are labeled for your baby's age makes me wonder how that would work if they labeled adult clothes that way. Would I fit into clothes that were labeled for a 38-year-old, which I am? Would I be able to suck my gut in enough to fit into some 30-year-old clothes? Would I actually feel more comfy if I wore clothes made for a 45-year-old? Would I wear 38-year-old pants, but 52-year-old shirts, because all my weight is in my tummy? These are all good questions, but not good enough to waste any more time on. I'm going bass fishing.

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