Monday, December 17, 2012

No More Bragging, Please!

You know how your eyes instinctively roll around in your head, and you feel the sudden need to suppress a little bit of vomit, every time some parent you know goes on and on and on about how brilliant their child is? Listening to parents like that might be the most annoying thing in the history of the universe. I can't stand parents like that.

I mean, what could these people's kids have really done that was so amazing, any way? Kids are kids. They all do the same things. Sure, maybe some kids learn to do things more quickly than other kids, and maybe they are taller and cuter and funnier than other kids their age, but does that mean they are brilliant?

Take, for example, my daughter, the Girl. She's only 3-and-and-a-half years old, but just the other day she successfully changed her little brother, the Boy's, diaper, without any assistance, or even knowledge of what was going on, by her parents. The act of changing a diaper by someone her age is one thing, but actually getting her little brother to lay still during the procedure is a whole different story. This was obviously a momentous undertaking on the Girl's part. But do you see me going around bragging about her to anyone and everyone within earshot? I mean, come on.

Or later on that night, when she decided it was time to turn their tiny lanterns off and go to bed, without the Wife or me telling her to do so, which is a very mature thing to do, since most 3 year olds would be more apt to put up a stink when their parents tell them it's time to turn the lights off. Do you hear me going on and on and on about that?

Seriously, some of these parents out there need to get a grip. Kids are kids! There's no need to keep bragging about yours. Do us all a favor, and just stop talking. Thank you!

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