Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Bane(s) of my Existence

Bane [beyn]: noun 1. A person or thing that ruins or spoils. Example: Gambling and spicy lasses were the bane of his existence.

I have had a lot of banes in my time. It seems like every time I turn around, there's another bane popping up. When I was a small child, the banes of my existence were any food that wasn't a french fry or a hot dog bun. I was a VERY picky eater as a small child. As I grew older and went off to school, I became slightly less picky, and now I would say I am one of the least picky eaters I know. The only food-related banes of mine that I can think of are egg salad sandwiches and liver. And, really, who could blame me on either of those?

Throughout my school years I had a lot of other banes: the craziness that was the boys' locker room; any math that dealt with letters instead of numbers; and all girls in 7th grade are prominent banes in my memory. I'm sure there were other banes, as well.

Nowadays, my banes have a tendency to change from day to day. One day it might be the dogs, like when one of them decides he'd rather do his business in our bedroom instead of out in the yard where he's supposed to. The next day it might be one of our vehicles, like when one or both of them decide to start leaking oil for no discernible reason. After that it might be my computer at work, which has decided to randomly reboot itself at inopportune times of the day. Next week it might be my ear hairs, which seem to be longer, thicker, and more numerous from one day to the next. Some of them are so long they seem to have taken root in my brain.

Yeah, now that I think about it, today it's the hairs in my ear that are the bane of my existence. They're so annoying. Tomorrow, who knows?

You might think that this is a photo of me during one of my ultra-handsome bearded phases, but in reality all that extra facial fur is just my ear hair that hasn't been trimmed for a week or so. Scary, huh? No wonder it's the bane of my existence. For today, at least...


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