Friday, March 1, 2013


It's weird how some subject matters that were formerly taboo are now commonplace in our house. Once you have kids all barriers get broken down, and it just seems like normal conversation to talk about poopy diapers, spit-up, diaper rashes, what weird things the baby found on the floor and proceeded to eat, etc. Now it seems weird to have a conversation with someone and not talk about these things. Life sure has changed.

The most common weird thing for the Wife and I to talk about are diapers. Since two of our three children are still in diapers, and the third has only been out of diapers for a little more than a year, it's just natural for diapers to be a prominent subject matter around our house. Sometimes the conversation revolves around whether either of us remembered to stop and get more diapers, but usually we talk about the contents of said diapers.

The Boy, who hopefully will be transitioning out of diapers in the near future, has had a long-term case of what his pediatrician calls "toddler diarrhea."  It's not actual diarrhea, per se, but the contents of his diapers have been rather messy, to put it delicately, for a long time. Apparently, at least according to the pediatrician, there's not much you can do about this condition. It's quite common, and the Boy should just grow out of it eventually. I think I can safely say that things are slowly starting to get better in that regard.

The Baby, on the other hand, suffers from a constant state of what I would call "pseudo-constipation." She goes a lot, but she seems to have to work pretty hard most of the time, and the contents range wildly in size and shape. Sometimes she can seem to be working really hard, and for a long time, and not much "content" shows up. Other times, everything seems to work OK.

It's gotten to the point where the Wife and I are often discussing the amount of "content" in the Baby's diaper. I have started comparing the "content" to candy bars, to make it easier for everyone to know what I'm talking about. Some times, there might be a Fun-Size Snickers Bar or a half a Twix bar in there; other times maybe a handful of Whoppers. Occasionally just a single chocolate chip. Even more rare would be the full-size Nut Goodie. Like I said, the "content" can vary widely.
Mmmmmm, Peanut Butter Snickers. Reminds me of a diaper I changed the other day...TMI.
I think this is a good way to describe things; it's accurate and universal. Everyone can instantly picture what I'm talking about. The Wife isn't much of a fan. Maybe she thinks I am degrading candy bars. Before we had kids, I probably would have agreed.

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