Monday, August 26, 2013

330 Miles

This past week has been a whirlwind for us Hansons. Last Saturday was the start of the craziness, when we and 11 of our most gullible friends joined to help us move out of our old house and into our new house, about 5 suburbs away. Since we had already moved most of the smaller stuff over the past 3 months, pretty much all that was left to move was big heavy stuff, like beds, dressers, and the world's heaviest TV stand. Actually, one of the worst things was my old wooden work bench, which I didn't think was going to be difficult at all. It took 4 of us burly men to get it out of the storage room and to the bottom of the stairs, but then we ran out of room in the stairwell, so it was just me and my poor brother-in-law lugging it up the stairs. We got it up and out to the moving truck, with no damage to the walls or the workbench, and with only minor hernias for us. Thanks Boyd, and be sure to send your doctor bills to my old address...

After we packed our new house to the brim with all of our stuff, we spent the next couple days alternating between cleaning the old house and sobbing uncontrollably at the thought of selling it. Then, on Tuesday morning, the Wife and I went and signed our names approximately a billion times at the closing. The new owners seemed like wonderful people, and I am sure they will take wonderful care of our beloved house. I did cringe a little bit when they told us they were planning on putting hardwood floors in a section of the house, but when we got out to the car and I started to complain, the Wife reminded me that we hated the carpet that they would be replacing. So, I can't really blame them for that, even though I wanted to.

Before our billion signatures were even dry, we packed up the three hooligans and a large portion of our earthly belongings, and headed down to the blisteringly hot Southern United States to partake in our niece's wedding. You may remember that another of our nieces got married earlier this summer. You can tell these two nieces apart by the fact that the most recent niece married a really tall young man, whereas the earlier niece married a really, really tall young man. Both couples seem to be doing splendidly in their relatively new married bliss.

None of our children were a part of this most recent wedding, so our wedding duties were somewhat limited. That allowed us more time for fun things, like sweating and trying not to pass out from heat exhaustion. Did I mention it was blisteringly hot?

The wedding was lovely, and we had a lot of fun hanging out with friends and relatives, but the most amazing part of the weekend occurred on the drive home yesterday. Now, you have to remember that we are the sometimes-proud parents of three small children, one of whom has just recently become potty trained (the Boy), and another of whom is liable to become psychotically unhinged and start screaming at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason (the Baby). We never know when a frantic plea to stop the car might make its way up to us from the backseats. Nothing like that happened yesterday, though. I am being totally honest with you when I say that I am 100% sure that a miracle occurred in our mini-van, because the five of us drove from Liberty, Missouri all the way to Albert Lea, Minnesota, without stopping once! Yes, all three of our children, aged 4 and under, happily sat still, and didn't need a potty break, for 330 miles of driving. If you aren't good with math, that means we drove through the entire state of Iowa, which is known to take weeks off of people's lives, without once stepping foot out of our van. It might be the most amazing miracle ever to occur in the history of man. Or not. Whatever you want to call it, it was pretty cool. It almost makes me look forward to the next time we have to drive through Iowa...nah, I'm just kidding!
I don't know how to create a pretty, sophisticated map using google or other software programs, so I drew this one myself. I think I made Iowa look pretty accurate, don't ya think?


  1. Hi Scott, I'm reading your blog as I sit in my apartment in Los Angeles, so I may get the farthest from Minnesota reading Scott's blog award for the evening. Or not. There are alot of streambeds out here in the Santa Monica Mountains. Unfortunately, the water has left for the summer. Trout fishing is poor.

  2. Thanks for commenting on the blog. I know I have some avid readers in strange, far-away lands, but for right now, I will give you the award. It's unseasonably hot here in MN right now, so I think the trout fishing is off for a while. Unless you go out early in the morning or right at dusk, which I am not inclined to do. Gonna try to get out once or twice in September before the season closes. Thanks for reading the blog!