Monday, September 9, 2013

Scott's So-Called Life

I think I may get too into TV shows. I let them play too large of a role in my life. Sometimes I even begin to think about life in terms of these television shows. As Hank Hill would say, "That ain't right."

Back in the day, I really loved the show Seinfeld. At least the first 5 years of it or so. After that it got kind of ridiculous. I still watched it though. And I still quoted lines from the show on a regular basis. I would throw a "Newman!", or a "But I don't wanna be a pirate!", or even a "Maybe the dingo ate your baby!" into conversations all the time, whether they fit the conversation or not. (Try to get "Maybe the dingo ate your baby!" to actually fit into a conversation some day. Hopefully for your sake, it never will...) Sure, throwing these lines into everyday life sometimes got a few chuckles out of my friends, but, I mean, come on. Couldn't I come up with my own lines? What's wrong with me?

Nowadays, I don't really watch all that much TV on the TV, other than the occasional sporting event. I do, however, let myself get sucked in to watching a show every once in a while on Netflix, which is probably even worse than when I watched TV. Using Netflix, I can get totally engulfed in a show and watch one episode after another after another, until hours, days, and even weeks have passed without my getting off the sofa. I wouldn't say it's the healthiest way to live, but, hey almost all of our kids can pretty much feed themselves, and if the dogs don't eat for a few days, it's probably good for them. A hungry dog is a healthy dog, I've always heard.

So, anyways, enough about the kids. Let's talk about TV some more, shall we? A few months ago, I was totally engrossed with the feel-good zombie apocalypse romp, The Walking Dead. I still probably would be totally engrossed in it, except I have already watched every episode on Netflix twice, and the next season doesn't come out for another month or so. That's probably a good thing, because when I watched it all the time I was starting to plan what I might do if there ever was a zombie apocalypse. Shotgun or crossbow? Run to the country or hunker down somewhere in the city? Should I go out and buy all the bottled water I can find right now, or wait until there's a sale? Finally I just stopped watching the show, and all these conundrums went away.

Everything was cool for a while, but then I started watching another feel-good romp, the gritty and dramatic Breaking Bad. If you are unaware, Breaking Bad is about a chemistry teacher who finds out he has lung cancer, so he decides to try and make as much money in the time he has left to help ensure his family's well-being once he's gone. To do that, he decides to make and sell crystal meth. This show is full of twists and turns and epic cliffhangers, so of course I got totally addicted to it. How could I not? Now, every corner I drive by I think I see drug dealers and meth heads hanging out. It was really bad when we were in Oklahoma recently. I went into the local WalMart late one evening, and it was full of hooligans that looked like they just walked off the set of the show. I was about to call the cops, but accusing someone of being on drugs because they look like a character on a TV show usually doesn't hold up well in court.

I suppose the healthiest thing to do would be to stop watching TV all together. I probably should even cancel our Netflix subscription, too. That seems kind of drastic, though. Maybe I should get another opinion from Dr. Phil. He always has good ideas...
Ever notice how every shopper at Walmart seems like they might be on drugs? Yeah, me neither, until I started watching Breaking Bad...

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