Monday, September 30, 2013

There's a Giant Among Us...

Apparently I sleep directly across the hall from an enigma. Or is she an anomaly? Maybe a conundrum... Whatever she is,  I was totally unaware of this situation until just a couple of days ago. All this time I thought I was the proud parent of a beautiful, smart, and (usually) happy little girl, but, no, apparently she's also a giant.

I have known for a while that the Girl is quite tall for her age. She just turned 4-and-a-half, but she's already starting to grow out of some of her 5T clothes. She must take after the Wife when it comes to getting tall at an early age. I didn't know the Wife when she was 11, but the story goes that she was already at her current height at that age - 5'4". If I had known the Wife when we were 11, instead of gazing deep into her beautiful blue eyes, like I do now, I would have had to gaze deep into her really cute belly button, because at the age of 11 I was approximately 3 feet tall. OK, maybe I was a little taller than that, but I know for a fact that I didn't reach 5 feet until I had started the 9th grade, which would have made me 14 years old. I don't think I reached 5'4" until the end of my sophomore year of high school. Yes, as I have mentioned before, it's good that the Wife and I didn't meet back then. I don't think she would have been too impressed with my slow-to-develop manliness.

There have been other hints to the fact that the Girl is quite tall, too. Like when the pediatrician has told us that she's in the 95th percentile in height for her age group. And the several looks of shock we have seen on other parents' eyes when we have told them that she's only 4.

The thing that really cemented in my mind that the Girl is a giant occurred a couple of days ago. I was at the kids' preschool to pick both the Girl and the Boy up after their day of school. Both of their classes were still outside having some fun at the nearby park when I got there, so I was waiting in the hallway, along with a billion other parents, when they walked back inside. The Boy's class came in first, and, as he is prone to do, he completely ignored me as he walked into his classroom with all of his little classmates. After his class was snug in their classroom, another class came walking in. At first I assumed it had to be the Girl's class, since I didn't think there were any other classes in the preschool that day. But then I thought to myself, "Nah, those kids look too small to be the same age as the Girl. Maybe that's another class of  3-year-olds..." But no. There, right in the middle of the line of kids, was the Girl, towering over all of her classmates like Goliath towering over a bunch of quivering Israelites. It was a crazy thing to behold. She really is a giant among her peers! Next time I see her entire class lined up like that, I'm going to keep my eyes on all the tiny, little boys with scrawny arms, buck teeth and a unibrow. Who knows, maybe one of them will grow up to be my future son-in-law....

This is an artist's rendering of the Girl and her preschool classmates. Or is it a photograph? It's so real, I can't tell for sure... One thing I can tell: she towers over all those other kids. And dresses better than they do. Who knew we lived near so many hillbillies?


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