Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Slowly Evolving Baby

"Having a baby is like having a dog...that slowly learns how to talk." - Chris Turk

"...Awesome!" - John Dorian

The above conversation took place between two somewhat dopey, and very immature, fictional characters on the fictional television comedy Scrubs. It may seem like an outlandish thing to say about babies, but in all reality, it's not all that far from the truth. In the beginning, a baby is really more like a pet than they are like an adult human, but very gradually they learn how to do things that make you think they may, some day, become a functioning part of society.

Take the Baby, for example. She is now over 20 months old. When she was a newborn she was essentially a blob, not able to do anything for herself except sleep, cry, and poop. Gradually she has evolved into a being who could hold herself up, then scoot around on the floor, then crawl, and eventually she began to walk. Now she runs around the house like a turkey. Sure she still falls over every once in a while, but who doesn't?

At birth she could hardly grasp anything, but she quickly was able to hold her own bottle; within 6 months she started feeding herself solid food; and now she regularly feeds herself soup and yogurt with a full-sized spoon, and hardly makes a mess. She eats way better than her older sister, who has turned in to the Pickiest Eater in The Entire World. At least on most nights...

The talking part of the evolution of the Baby has come somewhat slower. At this age the Girl was able to have adult-like conversations with us and regularly could be heard singing the songs that her mommy and I sang around the house. The Baby isn't nearly that evolved yet, but she is starting to be able to communicate with us verbally, at least some of the time. A lot of what she says still sounds like gibberish, but she has learned how to say "eeeeee!!!" (cheese!!!), "muh" (milk), "nana" (banana, duh!), and "ih-ih ee" (Christmas tree). She also is very clear when she says all of our names, and thankfully she has learned to say "nigh-nigh" when she is ready to go nighty-night, instead of just having a total meltdown, like she used to do before she discovered the English language, or at least her version of it.

So, as you can see, Chris Turk was correct. Having a baby is a lot like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk. And, John Dorian was correct. It is pretty awesome. Despite how I may make it seem in all of my other posts. Don't tell anyone I said that...
Only one of these two mammals will ever learn how to talk. Some days it seems like the dog might be the more likely option... Speaking of which, have you ever seen such silly hair in your whole life? What some people won't do to get attention...

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