Saturday, April 26, 2014

"E" is for Everything I Can't See Without My Glasses

I recently got new glasses. Thanks for noticing. It's my first new pair of glasses in about 7 years or so. I probably would have kept wearing my old ones, but for the fact that the protective UV coating was starting to peel off the lenses in big chunks. This didn't cause me to not be able to see, but when looking at bright lights during dusk and nighttime, there were about a dozen little "hotspots" on each lens that made terrible glares that were annoying, at best. They were the most annoying while playing softball under the lights last summer. While playing defense I spent pretty much all my time hoping nobody hit the ball at me, for fear of losing it in one of the glare spots. Thankfully I never had any major problems.

Before the new season started I thought I better get some new "glare-free" glasses, so I went to our friendly neighborhood optometrist, who also happens to be the Wife's cousin, for an eye exam. Everything was going swimmingly, but then I took my old glasses off to look at the first eye chart. It was a normal, everyday eye chart, up on the wall on the far side of the room, probably 15 feet in front of me. Without my glasses on, I squinted as hard as I could, trying to make out any of the tiny characters in the three lines of letters. No matter how hard I squinted I couldn't quite make out any of them. I tried and tried, but to no avail. Defeated, I finally gave in and put my old glasses back on. I looked up at the three lines of tiny letters I had been trying to read, and was totally flabbergasted to see that it was not three lines of letters, but one giant "E", as big as could be. I knew I was extremely near-sighted, but this was embarrassing. How could I have not have seen that it was a single letter?
How embarrassing...

I muddled through the rest of the exam, secretly still embarrassed by my near-blindness. Thankfully my eyes hadn't gotten much worse, so my new glasses are still only Coke bottle-thickness, and not plate glass-thickness. At least I will be able to see any line drives coming my way this year.

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