Tuesday, February 24, 2015


We had a fun discussion last night at our small group. We try not to only talk about our kids, but the Wife and I don't have a whole lot else to talk about at this point in our lives, so at some point the discussion inevitably turns to that topic. We always have a great time sharing some of the crazy things our kids do, and it's good to hear that other people's kids and nieces and nephews are as nuts as ours are. As our discussion went on, though, and we told more and more stories about things our kids have done, it got me to wondering something: Is it possible that there is a connection between the fact that our third child, the Little One, has been the most ornery child in the history of the world and the other fact that she is the only one of our children who has not fallen all the way down the stairs at our house? Perhaps the orneriness of the other two kids got knocked out by their respective falls?...Maybe the two things are not related, but then again, maybe they are...
Could our stairs be the key factor in the Little One's orneriness???

Pretty much every discussion I get into, with anybody, leads me to think up questions. I like to say that I am a very inquisitive person, asking the probing questions about life that few others dare to ask. The Wife just says that I am annoyingly curious. Whatever...I suppose we both might be right. The question I had about orneriness and falling down the stairs is just the tip of the iceberg. Let's examine some other annoying, I mean glaring, questions I have come up with over the years:

  • Why do kids talk as loud as they possibly can at the dinner table when Mommy and Daddy just want some peace and quiet, but when they are in the back seat of the minivan and they want to tell you all about their day at Preschool all they can muster is a whisper?
  • Why am I so incapable of remembering the few things that the Wife asks me to pick up at the grocery store yet I can remember which artist sang every song from the 1980s?
  • Why are whole black olives so much better than sliced black olives?
  • Why are sliced bananas so much better than whole bananas?
  • Why is hard butter so much better than soft butter?
  • Why is it so taboo to eat a stick of butter?
  • Why has nobody ever, in the history of the world, run out of milk at the same time they ran out of cereal? If you claim that that has happened to you, you are a liar.
  • Why don't they make laundry detergent pods in different sizes for different sized loads? (They might actually do this already. I have never purchased laundry detergent pods)
  • How did the idea of cutting the crusts off of bread ever happen? The crust is the best part!
  • Why do some people insist on stopping their car in the street in front of their house, not turning into their driveway until their garage door is all the way up, while I am forced to wait for them to move? 
  • Why do other people always come to a complete stop when turning left, even when it is painfully obvious to anyone with a pulse that NOBODY IS COMING FROM THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION?!?!?!
  • Would it be reckless of me to get a pet Sasquatch for the sole purpose of having someone to blame for all the whiskers I leave laying around the sink?
  • Why does it seem like the softball bases get farther apart every year that I get older?
  • Why does metabolism ever have to slow down? Why can't it get faster as I get older?
  • Why can I go 5+ years without getting a single cardboard cut on my hands, but then when I get one, I get a second and third within a week?
  • What does "Why ask why?" mean?
    I think that's all the probing questions I can think of at the moment. I'm sure I will come up with more in the near future. Look for another "Questions" post here soon, which will probably make you ask yourself "Why does this guy ask so many stupid questions?". Why not?


  1. Excellent questions Scott! My wife has been giving me strange looks because I'm over here laughing as I read. Thanks for the chuckle!

    1. Thank you for the kind words! I know that I make myself chuckle, so it is nice to hear that I have the same effect (or is it affect?) on other people. Comment any time!

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