Friday, March 6, 2015

Leftover Bacon?!?!?!?

I've been trying to wrap my head around something the Wife said last Sunday morning. I know that my head has a tendency to bounce around from subject to subject a lot, and therefore it can be difficult to get it wrapped around any one particular topic, but I would think that after five days, I would have been able to make some sense of it. But no. Perhaps you, my loyal readers, can help me out...

I don't usually like to throw the Wife under the bus for things she says, you know, because she's my wife and I love her and all, and because out of the two of us I say about a billion silly things to every one of her silly statements, but this one she said is so silly it's almost unbelievable. I think it might rank up there as one of the silliest things in the history of the world. The very thought of it makes me shake my head almost to the point of making myself sick. It's just so crazy I wish I had it on video, just to be sure she actually said it. If it was on video, I probably would have broken the rewind button from playing it over and over again. If you know the Wife I am pretty sure you will not believe that such silliness came out of her mouth. You'll all just have to take my word on it...

The kids and I were just about to sit down to breakfast, which was our Sunday usual: the Wife's Delicious Scrambled Eggs and a side of bacon. I noticed the plate of bacon was especially tall, even for our house, which has seen its fair share of bacon being consumed, not to mention several other houses' fair shares as well. I made a comment to the Wife about the impressive height of the bacon, and that's when she said it.

"I thought that I would make a lot and then I will use the extra in some soup I am going to make."

Huh?

Extra bacon? There is no such thing as extra bacon. Is there? Never in my entire life have I seen any extra bacon laying around after my family has finished the meal. Even if we all had completely stuffed ourselves with eggs, pancakes, waffles and french toast, if there was a single piece of bacon left on the table, we would fight each other for it. We've even fought over the last tiny bacon schnibble that was left behind from the last piece of bacon. Extra bacon?!? This was the first and only time I had any suspicion that the Wife might have a drug problem...

It was a weird morning, that's for sure. But, I am happy to say that the kids and I finished off every last piece of bacon without any trouble. I think we could have eaten a couple more pounds, if we had to. Or, however much the Wife cooked. I wonder if she'll ever get that soup made...
I am not suggesting you go out and do this, but if you google the word "bacon", a whole lot of weird images show up. This was one of my favorites: a bust of actor Kevin Bacon made out of bacon. What a waste of good bacon!

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