Wednesday, February 24, 2016

A Slow Death

We did something this winter that the Wife claims we have never done before. I think that's hogwash, but her memory is at least 4 billion times better than mine, so it just might be true. However, my ability to lie to myself is way better than the Wife's, so I am going to keep saying it's hogwash, even though the evidence might not back me up...

We made a snowman! But not just any snowman. Oh no...Instead of making just any old snowman, we made the world's worst snowman. It wasn't even really "man" shaped. It was shaped more like a shield volcano, which I only know about because we just read a Magic Schoolbus book about volcanoes and the insides of the Earth. Or maybe it was shaped more like Jabba the Hut than a volcano...Whatever the case, it was ugly. We pretty much just piled up all the snow that we shoveled off the driveway into a pile in the yard, and then realized the snow wasn't wet enough to mold it. So, the snowpile magically morphed into a snowman, simply because we inserted a bunch of buttons and a wooden carrot into it for a face, wrapped a scarf around the part of it that looked the most "neck-like", and then plopped an old stocking cap on top, and said "Our snowman is complete!"

That all happened about 3 or 4 weeks ago now, and Spring has started to show itself, even up here on the frozen tundra of Minnesota, in the days since. Almost every day is above freezing now, and we've even had a handful of days in the 40s, so Mr. Snowman has slowly been turning into Mr. Snowcorpse. Most mornings one of the kids has to go out and re-insert his eyeball buttons because they have fallen out from the previous day. But they seem happy to do it, so it looks like our first snowman is going to try to hold on until he's just a puddle with a soggy stocking cap floating in it. I'm glad it's not one of mine...
This was our snowman when we first built him, about 4 weeks ago.
This was our snowman today, before the kids were able to stick his eyeballs back in...

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Baby's First Cold

I don't know if you realize this, but a baby goes through a lot of "firsts". First poop, first blowout, first crying fit that lasts all night...These are all big milestones for a baby. Another one is first cold, and our baby, the Baby, has been battling her first cold for the last week or seven. At least that's what it seems like to us.

Yes, for the past few days or so, gone is our happy-go-lucky, smiling at anything and everything that moves, sleeping through the night since she was three weeks old Baby, and in her place has been a sniffling, coughing, wheezing, ornery, waking up what seems like a billion times a night baby. Despite all that, she still has been smiling quite a bit. I don't understand that. I don't have even the slightest hint of a cold, and I haven't smiled in the past 7 years...

Thankfully, the Baby seems to have turned a corner, and is on the road to recovery. Now if she would just start sleeping through the night again, maybe the Wife could finally get some rest...
She's looking better already...

Monday, February 15, 2016

Poll: Star Wars...Yay or Nay?

I have a dilemma on my hands, and I want you to help me through it. Knowing that you are the type of person who reads my blog, I may be giving your opinions too much credit, but I am man enough to know when I need help, and sometimes it just doesn't matter whose opinion I am listening to... How do you like that ringing endorsement? :)

I recently found my stash of old Star Wars action figures from my childhood. Knowing that my childhood was a long time ago, I figured that these ancient relics might be worth something. They are worth something, but not nearly enough to make me quit my day job. So, I think I will keep them in the family and pass them on to my kids, which I have a lot of.

Here comes the dilemma. I want to pass these toys on to my kids. They love action figures. They love to play. They have seen most of one of the Star Wars movies and seemed to enjoy it. The Boy even got some Star Wars jammies recently.

But...they never put their toys away. They lose everything. At one point in their lives, every single one of their toys has been lost for at least 15 minutes. So, should I trust these kids to keep my beloved old toys in as good condition as I did all those years ago? And what about all of the tiny implements of destruction that all of these action figures came with? Those will definitely get lost and/or broken within the first few minutes.

So, what should I do? If I keep the toys boxed up under the stairs I probably won't find them again until my grandkids are old enough to play with them. If I give them to my kids now they will almost definitely get lost. If I give them the guns/light sabers/bows and arrows they will for sure get lost.
Let me know what you think I should do. I will intently listen to all of your feedback and then do whatever I feel like doing, because I am stubborn like that. Here are the options:

A. Keep them boxed up, possibly forever.

B. Give everything to the kids now.

3. Just give them the action figures and save all the implements for their college graduation presents.

D. Keep them for myself and play with them after the Wife and all the kids go to bed.

Thank you for your help!
Two of these things are not like the others...Can you find the two odd ones? And, what are they all doing on Jake's Pirate Ship? Is the Millenium Falcon in the shop?

Wednesday, February 3, 2016


I don't know if there's anyone who has actually read all of the previous 399 posts here on this blog, and I am including myself in that statement. Sometimes I just need to get the blog out of me, and then I never go back and read it to see if it makes sense. The same thing happens when I am talking. I often just say stuff to say it, and then never think about what I actually said. Oftentimes people will come up to me later and say something like "Remember when you said so and so...", and I'll be like "?????". So, to make a long story longer, if you have actually read all of the previous 399 posts on this blog, you may be the only one. But thank you for doing so!

Yes, you are currently reading the 400th post in the history of Chaotic Kids & Clutter. Who knew I would ever have so much nonsense to write about? Not me, that's for sure. Luckily I am "blessed" with the ability to ramble on, seemingly about nothing, for years at a time. That's essentially what this blog has been: a place for me to ramble on endlessly. Hopefully you will keep on reading, because if you don't I may have to shut it down, and then all of my ramblings will just stay locked in my head, driving me insane in quick fashion. Just thinking about not having an outlet for my ramblings is giving me a severe case of the screaming willies. No thank you!

I thought about giving away some kind of prize for this 400th post. Something like 400 jelly beans, or 400 pennies, or 400 pieces of uncooked white rice. Maybe I still never know with me. Perhaps I will take all of the people who congratulate me on the boundlessness of my blog posts and randomly choose a winner who will receive one or all of the aforementioned prizes, or even something that hasn't been mentioned, like 400 gold doubloons...I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

In any case, thank you so much for being a loyal reader of this silliness. I've had fun over the past 400 posts, and I hope you have too. See you at number 500 real soon!