Monday, July 25, 2016

Lost! and Found...

The good news is that my Wednesday Night Church Softball League team, the Leviathan, is currently still alive in our double elimination playoff tournament. The bad news is that, after our first night of playoff games, I left my favorite little red rolling cooler behind my car as I peeled out of the parking lot to head home. That was bad, but what made it even worse was that there were still four mini Drumstick brand ice cream treats in it that I was planning on scarfing down later that night. Talk about a bummer!
I realized that the cooler was not in my car when I got home and unloaded all my softball stuff. At first I was hit by a feeling of unbelief. I knew I had put it in the back seat, so where was it? I looked everywhere, which isn’t all that large of an area when you are talking about the backseat of a 2006 Dodge Stratus… Next came a feeling of utter panic, as I tried to figure out what could have happened. Finally I became enraged, as I imagined some hooligan finding my cooler and eating all my ice cream treats. You don’t mess with me and my ice cream treats, if you know what’s good for you!

But, alas, it was already going on 11 PM, and the softball fields were 20 minutes from my house, so I decided to wait until the morning, when I could swing by the park on my way to work. Hopefully my beloved cooler would still be sitting in the parking lot, waiting for me to rescue it.

I wish I could tell you that it was, and that the ice cream treats were still frozen and that they tasted yummy as I crammed them in my mouth that morning, but I can not. There was no cooler in the parking lot when I got to the park. There were no ice cream treats. There was no evidence of my cooler at all. Apparently my cooler had been found, but by some hooligan other than me. Not to be mean or anything, but I kind of hope they choked on the ice cream treats.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Fried Chicken

The Baby is turning out to be a True American, and I can't be prouder. You know how I know? Because she loves fried chicken, that's how. I am pretty sure it's her favorite food, just like it's her old man's favorite food. Sure, she's only 7-and-a-half months old, and can't talk yet, but I can tell. For one thing, she scarfs it down as fast as we can put it in front of her. Just like me! Secondly...wait, there is no second thing, it's fried chicken, of course she loves it! How could she not love it?!?!

Although she seems to like all fried chicken, just like me, she seems to prefer the fried chicken at an unlikely place, Pizza Ranch, which is also the fried chicken that I prefer. You may ask yourself, "Pizza Ranch? Don't they just serve pizza?" No. Although they do serve a lot of pizza, it is their delicious fried chicken that we go there for. Oh man, is it good. And the Baby agrees, as you can see in this photograph, in which she is stuffing her face with the fried chicken:

Now, before you accuse me of bad parenting for feeding the Baby fried chicken all the time, know that she's only had it once or twice, which is way less than I would like. She actually eats quite healthy, but who wants to write about green beans and sweet potatoes? Not this blogger, that's for sure!

Monday, July 11, 2016


Our family loves to camp. It's in our blood. But for some reason we hadn't been camping yet this year, so last weekend we were determined to change that. But where should we go? It was the 4th of July weekend, so all of the campsites within a 7 state radius would be booked up, and we didn't make any reservations. Plus, we didn't want to go too far, since the Baby had never been camping before, so we would need to be close in case she went ballistic and we would need to make a quick getaway (I promise that we probably wouldn't have left her at the campsite if that happened...).

We could have left our pop-up camper in the driveway, but that didn't seem very rustic, so we hitched it to the back of our standard issue grey minivan that anyone with 3+ kids needs to own, and drove it the 20 or so feet out into our front yard. Voila! We were out in nature! Off of the concrete, but still close enough to the house that we could run in to use the bathroom whenever we needed to, which seems to be more and more often the older I get...
Our camper, set up in the front yard. I think most of the neighbors who drove by thought we were insane, but what else is new?

We decided to invite the kids' cousin, the Cousin, over to join us, but with her inclusion, the Wife decided that she and the Baby would stay in the house. I guess the Baby will have to have her first camping experience some other time. That was probably a good idea, because trying to get a 7-month-old to go to sleep in a small pop-up camper that is also inhabited by 4 screaming kids in the 4-to-7 year old age range is a disaster waiting to happen. It's also a disaster waiting to happen for a 42-year-old to try to go to sleep in such conditions, but somebody had to do it, so it might as well have been me. I quickly figured out that if I let the aforementioned 4-to-7 year old hooligans pass out on their own accord in the camper whilst I lounged around in the house watching TV, it is much easier on all of us. Then I could just stroll out to the camper at my leisure and fall asleep at my usual rate of about 25 seconds after my head hit the pillow. It was perfect!

Aside from sleeping in the camper, we did all the other stuff you would usually do while camping. We had a fire in the fire pit, we had delicious s'mores and/or burnt marshmallows, we got eaten alive by mosquitoes, etc., etc. It was as good as being up in the northwoods, only without the agonizing 4 hour drive. We should do this more often!