Thursday, October 27, 2016

Book Fair, Times 2

I wrote last spring about all the craziness that happened when I volunteered at the Book Fair at the Girl's school. When you pack a bunch of small children into a small area and add in approximately 4 billion books, toys, and other kid-themed paraphernalia, it can get pretty crazy. Despite that craziness, I didn't not have fun at that Book Fair, so I decided to volunteer again this fall. I thought I was ready for whatever those kids could throw at me, and it turned out I was, for the most part.

This year all of the volunteers who were working my shift already had Book Fair experience, meaning we all knew how to run the cash registers, which is the trickiest part of the job. Since I was the last to arrive, and the other two volunteers were already ringing kids up on the two cash registers, I took on the task of roaming around, watching to make sure nothing got pilfered, keeping my eye on all the hooligans, and straightening up the messes after they left. This job made me feel like a tough guy enforcer, which is what I see myself as most of the time any way, so it was fun. I had the chance to work on my glare, which should reap benefits at home. If there are any new dads out there reading this, one of the most important things to learn is how to have a good glare. Your hooligans, I mean kids, will wilt at the first sign of your glare, if you practice it often, and soon they won't even think about being naughty. At least, that's a theory I am working on. Apparently my glare still needs some work...

Back to the Book Fair, things were going quite well, again almost to the point of being fun, and roaming around let me check out more of the books than I was able to last year. There was even a table of books geared towards adults. I can't imagine any of the kids actually thinking about buying their parents a book as a gift, so I can only assume these books were for the teachers to peruse. One thing I noticed amongst these "adult" books (There weren't any of those kind of adult books, you pervert! Get your head out of the gutter!) was that a lot of cookbooks nowadays are shaped like the food that they specialize in. Maybe it's always been this way, but it sure seemed odd to me. There was a chocolate cookbook that was shaped like a bar of chocolate with a bite taken out of one corner; there was a pizza cookbook shaped like a pizza; and there was even a pasta cookbook shaped like a box of angel hair pasta. I don't know if the recipes in these books were any good, but the covers sure made me hungry! Not hungry enough to buy the books, but definitely hungry enough to go out and eat whatever I could get my hands on.

Other than the cookbooks, the most memorable thing about the Book Fair was when a small lad of about 6 or 7 started leafing through the Monster Survival Guide, pictured below. It took him about 10 seconds to find what he needed in it, and then blurt out, not quite at the top of his lungs, "I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO KILL A WEREWOLF!!!" I had no idea that kind of knowledge was so vital for a young boy to have, but he seemed like it completely made his day. Knowing the proper way to kill a pretend creature, like a werewolf, is one thing. But knowing how to defeat a real-life beast, like a tough-guy dad with a mean glare, is another thing altogether! Excuse me while I go practice some more...

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